Hold On to Your Kids
This is the book. My all time favourite parenting book. Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté MD.
I haven’t read any parenting book in ages, because I am no longer in the trenches. The youngest of five is almost sweet sixteen. And all is well. But back in the day, I read hundreds of parenting books. It was a whole journey of growth. During the past decade, as I worked as a practitioner, I see the significance of healing at the root, and figuring out what is causing certain behaviours and overreactions. It’s extremely helpful to understand GNM constellations, and learn about emotions. The trick is to empower your kids with what they need to overcome those negative emotions and limiting beliefs. As a result, I am able to help both the parent and the child in an effective, powerful way. But the philosophy of being there for your kids is just as important as always. The homeschooling choice was more or less validated in this book as well. Basically, keep the connection. It makes sense when you consider the animal kingdom. Everything points to the survival of the species, and that’s what parents are for. To take care of their kids.
“We must be present with our children, not just physically but emotionally. We must make time to connect and listen, to be available and responsive.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“The more we understand and empathize with our children's emotions, the better we can help them navigate through life's challenges.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
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“The quality of our relationship with our children determines the quality of our influence on them.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“The best way to influence our children is not through punishment and coercion but through positive role modeling and a strong connection.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“We need to be more than just companions to our children; we need to be their allies.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship with our children. We must show them respect and teach them to respect themselves and others.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté
“The most important gift we can give our children is our attention, our presence, and our genuine interest in their lives.” Hold On to Your Kids, Neufeld/Maté